Integrating my other half

My experience in Vietnam has been a rollercoaster of emotions, from frustration to amusement, and it has brought me closer to my own family in Vietnam that I only heard stories from my parents.  Whether I like it or not, this study abroad opportunity allowed me to learn about the other side of me that I never knew I existed.  Since I left Vietnam at a very young age, I lost my roots quickly as I grew up in an entirely different culture than my own.  I cannot believe that it is close to the time when I have to depart from my homeland that I had left 16 years ago.  It is like déjà vu.  However, this time is very different from the first time because I am grown up and I came here with many purposes.  When I leave, I feel that I will bring a piece of Vietnam back to the United States whether it is intellectually, physically, emotionally, or mentally. This experience in Vietnam has influenced and changed in me so many aspects of my life.  I am very grateful for everything I have faced and endured here.

Thinking ahead in the less a month I’ll be back in California and everything here will only be a memory… a piece of my history.  It makes me… feel unsettling! It’s hard to part a place where I was starting to feel like home and the amazing people that I have met over on my journey in Vietnam.  It will feel much different when I return back to the States when I cannot use Vietnamese so regularly, get banh mi trung on the corner of the street, get nuoc mia, or drink bia hoi on the street.  A way that I can integrate my experiences in Vietnam into my life in the United States would be trying to influence and persuade other students to study abroad in Vietnam.  From there, I will be able to share my personal experiences and remind myself the great people I have met here.  I think through sharing my experiences, it would help spread the knowledge that I have taken away from Vietnam.  I have no doubt that I will be continuously being reminded of my trip if I keep in touch with UCEAP kids because my memory will always trigger back to our adventures abroad.  Another way I can approach is by maintaining relationship and communication with HANU students here and my relatives in Vietnam. It will somehow make me feel as though they aren’t physically that far from me.

I am going to be as realistic I can about the possibility of me keeping my relation with UCHANU and Vietnam, I am not sure.  Of course, I can come up with plenty of ways that I can try to sustain the same relationship now like trying to fundraise for more funds for the poor like Nghe An and sending them money back here to encourage the future UCHANU kids to continue the work we started.  But I am unsure about how my life will be like once I return back to the States and I return back on the crazy coaster of the busy college kid –work, school, family, friends, relationships, and all! I don’t think this is applicable only me but probably everyone else in this program.  Days will become months and turn into years and we may end up losing touch with each other completely. One definitely way that can be sure to keep Vietnam with me is by speaking Vietnamese. I have always been hesitant or embarrassed about talking and communicating in Vietnamese because the fear of no one can understand my broken Viet-lish.   Since I study abroad for the past 3 months, I feel more confident to talk and communicate with my parents and people on the streets now.  That is how I will be reminded of the growth and my experiences in Vietnam.  Vietnam will be an active part of my life now, through verbal or written. I will try to grasp hold on what I am learned, experienced, relationships, and memories I have collected here.  I will not forget.